The First Couple

Today’s topic of discussion is: Adam and Eve.

I’m sure you all know their story, but I’m here to tell you Adam and Eve’s relationship was not all peaches and cream.

Sure, before Eve ate you-know-what, the First Couple got along famously. It really was paradise. My Dad did a great job landscaping that place. Whatever else you might think about the G-Man, he was one creative guy. He placed all forms of flora and fauna in the Garden, along with an amazing array of animals.

Incredibly, all these animals got along with each other, and just to put the cherry on top, Dad made sure that none of these animals defecated. That’s right, poop was another result of The Fall.

Anyway, back to the First Couple. Like most newlyweds, Adam and Eve had their honeymoon period, frolicking around in the Garden of Eden, pure and innocent. But after Eve gave in to temptation, things were never the same between them.

You know how couples have certain ongoing “issues” between them? Well, this one was a doozy. And Adam always held it against her. Every chance he got, Adam brought up the whole “rib” thing. For example:

Eve: Adam, bubeleh, you seem a little tired tonight. Art thou ill?

Adam: Oh, I’m fine, darling. It’s just that THIS LACK OF A RIB is really bothering my kishkehs tonight.

Or…

Eve: Adam, could you hand me a log so I can smash this serpent again?

Adam: I would love to, dear, but I HAVE ONE LESS RIB THAN YOU and it’s really hurting me today. But to give you life was definitely worth it.

They had other issues, too. For example:

Eve: Honey, I feel like a little nosh. You know what I could really go for tonight?

Adam: Oh, let me guess. Another feckuckteh apple?!

Yep, Adam could be quite a nudje. Some say it’s all part of being married, but I wouldn’t know about that.

Shalom.