Saturday, May 30, 2009

Just Your Imagination

The topic of discussion today is: My Image.

That’s right, my friends, it happened again. This time one of my so-called followers found my image on top of a jar of jelly.

Now in the past, people claimed to have seen images of me on the side of a barn, on a potato chip, even on a tortilla.

I’ll admit it’s a little flattering that these folks think they see my face in such places. But I’m here to tell you that this is really just their imagination.

First of all, I’m not a big jelly fan, and as for tortillas, I can take them or leave them.

Think about it. If I were going to appear to you, why would I choose the side of a barn? Just because my parents dumped me in a feckuckteh manger? Try hanging around a manger for a while and let me know if it becomes a fond memory. Feh!

What these meshugenehs are seeing are just random patterns and smears, not my face.

And if you really want to get into it, I didn’t see a whole lot of Kodaks when I was hanging in the desert. Nor was anyone painting my portrait back in the day. So, how did anyone know what I look like? For all we know, they could have been painting the visage of Moishe the Wanderer all these years. (Though Moishe was quite a bit shorter than I.)

Now you may be looking at my picture on this blog and thinking, “Wait a minute, that sure looks like Jesus to me.” But with the Internet, you never know. I even know one blogger who wants everyone to think he looks like Brad Pitt. Believe me, he’s more like the anti-Brad Pitt.


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